Blue. River. Apple.

Today’s journey:
Develop courage,
Splash on a smile,
Be who I want to be,
Not afraid of who I am becoming.

To awake at night, fearful of forgetting
Important and precious things like …
People. Dates. Times. Appointments.
I am not in control. Please help me, God.

Thoughts jumble, words disappear.
Times mix up, promises go astray.
When I hear, “Where are you?” “Are you coming?”
Eyes water, stomach churns, humbled in disbelief.
I know I have done it again!

Do I stay home, cancel, quit?
Or fight for right of passage through the fog?
Silently, I say, I am not what I appear.
I am sorry for what you see.

Breathe in courage,
Splash on a smile,

Struggle to remember …
I must find pieces of myself and revel in who I know I am.
Chin up, treading lightly in new uncharted waters.

At times, I catch sideways glances, back and forth.
Perhaps, even, your voice impatient.
I understand.
But, wait, we stand together, separate.
Can you hear me? I have so much to tell you.

I try to mask the imperfections.
A dab of foundation, a blush of pink.
Dressed in clothes, jewelry, and resolve.

Daily, though, I have to make sense of where I am.
On the sliding scale of … Blue. River. Apple.

I want to be Positive.
I am Productive.
I am Loving and Beloved.
I am Grateful, Creative, Alive.
Therefore … I am blessed with a voice to tell my inner story.

Blue. River. Apple.